Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
