i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
