ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
