i barfeds in our rink
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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