3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
third nipple confirmed
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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