I must be too annoying 4 u.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
