Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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