who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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