i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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