I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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