Do you still have your period?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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