Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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