is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I yelled at your uterus for you.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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