You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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