Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
