I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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