last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
