i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize