Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
