Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
