Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
