If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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