I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize