The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
