I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
COCAINE IS GR8
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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