I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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