no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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