D3 body, D1 cock
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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