So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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