Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize