the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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