hotel room ftw
She's JV to your varsity
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
