well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
