umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
