I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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