Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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