I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
