I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
