I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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