You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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