To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he thought i was a dude.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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