Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
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