So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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