please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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