I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
