Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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