I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Sext me about skeletons
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize