Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
