He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
