I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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