16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
