Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
