I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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