The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
