Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
