i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
