honey bunches of taint.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
