..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
