let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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