This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
