Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
