Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
