Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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