Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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