I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize