i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
