Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
