You made me cry and you don't even care
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
