Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
