everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
