My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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