I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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