After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
