I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
