Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
